How to follow your own unique path, pursue your truth, live and act in a way with integrity to your deepest values…how to become an Inner Dimensional Man


It’s been years since I last created a course as Ron Louis (my pen name—more on this later). I thought I’d simply abandon the whole dating brand and get on with my life and do something different, but I had a nagging need to get a lot off my chest and tell my personal story. I wanted to write something short, a personal manifesto of the ideas and ways of looking at manhood that make sense to me and have worked for me over time. What I discovered in my own search for personal meaning, is a template for you to find your own path as a man, as well. In The Hard Path: Becoming an Inner Dimensional Man, I’ve drilled down into several skills and areas of focus that have helped me the most. The book provides a blueprint to understanding how to create meaning as men, and is written in such a way that any man can apply the lessons to his life in his own way, no matter what.

This book is the culmination of the last 30 years of a life lived on the edges: lived in ayahuasca ceremonies and in dating seminars; with pickup artists, and on vision quests; in dance clubs and punk rock concerts; meeting my music heroes; and experiencing failed relationships and breaking hearts, lots of regrets, and lots of starts and stops; failed business projects and deaths of identities; learning with mentors, long-term apprenticeships and teachers, and being a mentor to many other men young and old; grappling with death and grief and sorrow, and surrendering to great loves. Living through celebrations and funerals, and dreams that make no sense.

Before, I tell you more, I need to state that this course and book are not for “know it all” men, or guys who are afraid to really look deeply at themselves and take responsibility for their “shit”—nor for men who refuse to look at the areas of their lives that don’t work. Or for the sorts of guys who feel they always have to put on a happy face, and avoid speaking their truth. So, if you’re one of those guys, this course isn’t for you and you might as well stop reading right now. Walking the Hard Path is about getting real.

I wanted to offer a caveat upfront, because the contents of this book come from facing lots of personal demons over the past 30 years. And the lessons I’m going to share and overall philosophy come from learning a lot from some major low points in my life along with the high points. I wasted 15+ years chasing superficial versions of success, only to find out what I was seeking wasn’t real and in fact the pursuit itself made me miserable. I found out the hard way, that the price of admission onto the Hard Path is taking a hard sober look at yourself and really having the courage to go through your shit.

Ultimately, becoming an inner-dimensional man is a pretty exciting path to explore. It can be scary as hell, unpredictable, and frustrating (it is The Hard Path, after all!), but the alternative (living a superficial life that is numb and predictable) is a lot less interesting.

Big Idea #1: Challenge yourself as a gateway to growth:

The Hard Path constantly challenges us to put ourselves in situations that push us to deeply examine and re-examine our beliefs. Most of us avoid walking the hard path. That is to say, we avoid really digging in deep, fighting through uncomfortable situations and circumstances (and usually default into either being angry jerks or whiney babies). And we avoid taking responsibility for our lives, our situations, and our circumstances. The easy path encourages passivity and to endure situations that do not challenge us to grow, expand, or question ourselves. Ultimately, the easy path weakens our bodies and our minds through avoiding pain or challenge.

Walking the Hard Path:

  • Requires courage, authenticity, integrity, and inner strength.

  • Means being willing to take actions that are uncomfortable and scary.

  • Means having to grow up and quit blaming others for your failures and struggles.

  • Means owning your “bullshit” and the bullshit excuses that keep you from living your life aligned with your values.

  • Means learning and understanding how to apply skills of“criticality” to think and re-examine critically about one’s self, one’s world, and figure out on a deeply personal level what works for you as an individual and what doesn’t.

  • The problem: Lots of men search out advice to become anything and anyone other than who they really are. In the process, most of us sell out our integrity, our values, our sincere vision of who we are and want to be—as men. This boils down to a lack of character. Walking the Hard Path means getting real about the sacred cows, dogmas, and taboos that have run your life unconsciously.


Big Idea #2: Become Inner-Dimensional:

Becoming an inner-dimensional man means creating your own blue-print for being a man. Rather than try to mimic men in the media or anyone else, including our fathers, take a torch to those examples and listen deeply to yourself. Listening means slowing down long enough to hear the most vulnerable voice within.

The problem is that we are not inner dimensional. Most of us have allowed ourselves to be brainwashed by external sources of validation, and inputs of all sorts. 

  • We have essentially squashed our inner voice, our inner thoughts, our inner sense of autonomy to the point where we have lost ourselves.

  • Inner dimensionality allows you to become more yourself, not copying me, or becoming a clone of anyone else. Living from inside-out means walking your own path, attuned to your own visions, attitudes, values, beliefs, and unique view points. Living inside-out means you don’t need to placate anyone else or bend to fit into anyone else's limited conception of who you should be.

 A few enemies of inner dimensionality:

  • The seduction industry---including Neil Strauss and “The Game” prey on your fears and concerns about manhood and sexuality—and “sell” you the idea that you’re not good enough as you are.

  • Self proclaimed “manly men” such as David Deida and his “Way of the superior male” offer overly simplified, dumbed-down, one-size-fits-all concepts of manhood.


Why should you listen to me:

As Ron Louis I spent nearly 20 years coaching thousands of men in dating and relationships—men of all ages and backgrounds. I co-created over 20 courses for men on overcoming social anxiety, communication skills, sexuality, relationships, confidence, humor, dating, and more. The book, How to Succeed with Women has sold more than 250,000 hardback and paperback copies in 8 languages worldwide (English, Spanish, Portuguese, Hebrew, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Lithuanian). I understand the issues men struggle with and I know how to coach and help men get over their blocks and teach in a way men understand.

As Roan Kaufman I have a doctorate degree in education, and spent five years researching and writing about ayahuasca and its power as a social change agent and learning model. My findings are in my book Ayagogy: Ayahuasca as a social change agent and learning model. The lessons I have learned from ayahuasca (both personally attending many ayahuasca ceremonies in various parts of the world—and my research findings) are woven into the Hard Path.

In fact, Graham Hancock endorsed my book by saying, 

"Roan Kaufman, and his book, Ayagogy, an account of his truly excellent endeavor to obtain light on ayahuasca’s promise as a social change agent-to trigger deep worldly change from within us-from the inside-out."

Many men from around the world have embraced my work. For instance, world famous hypnotist and personal growth guru Marshall Sylver said this about my newest book,

"Walking the Hard Path is a much needed wake up call for men to seek out their unique vision and to live life on their own terms. It is the next evolution in being a man."

Here’s a testimonial from a man I coached a few years ago and helped him find a wife:

Subject: Thanks again!
Date: Thanksgiving Day

Hi Ron:
On this Thanksgiving weekend I'd just like to give thanks again to all the help you've given me. You were critical in helping me begin to date the women I wanted -- and also to really begin living the life I want to live and being the man I want to be.

Enclosed is my wedding picture of me and my beautiful wife!!

We went on our honeymoon to New Zealand, which was amazing. We're getting along really well and I feel like I love her more every day. We have similar interests and she treats me very well (both in and out of bed!).

Thanks again for all your help! You guys do an incredible job and provide a great service to guys like me who have a couple of last stumbling blocks to success that we can't quite figure out. Happy Thanksgiving!

Bill H.
San Diego, CA


Big Idea #3: Live Inside-out, NOT Outside-in:

Walking the Hard Path and becoming an inner-dimensional man can be summarized by embracing change from the inside-out, not change based on outside influences or stimuli. In essence, inside-out change towards inner-dimensionality means becoming more yourself and having your own authentic self guide you, not copying me, or becoming a clone of anyone else. Living from inside-out means walking your own Hard Path, attuned to your own visions, attitudes, values, beliefs, and unique viewpoints.

Understanding how to live “Inside-out” and not “Outside-In” is the single most transformational ideas I have learned over the past 30 years. Understanding this on a deeply personal level is has changed my life more than any other book, workshop, or anything else I’ve done.

If you get nothing else from this website, take this idea of living Inside-out as a way to create fulfillment, happiness, and deeply personal meaning for your life. 

How to put it all into practice

The book offers 10 pages of Inner Dimensional Practices to make sure you can actually put the contents of the book into action. This includes questions to meditate on, actual practices I have used to become more “Inside-out” and other goodies from my personal library.

Here’s what you get when you grab your Hard Path: Becoming an Inner Dimensional Man program right now:

The 92 page instantly-downloadable ebook

The Hard Path: Becoming an Inner Dimensional Man

This resource has everything I’ve told you about on this page…and a lot more I haven’t had time to tell you about 

Because I know some men prefer audio books over reading books on your computer or device, I created 10 downloadable audio files just for you:

Bonus #1 Audio version of The Hard Path: Becoming and Inner Dimensional Man along with commentary: Over 2.5 hours (6 audio files) of me reading the entire book The Hard Path and offering commentary when relevant. 


Bonus #2 Inner Dimensional Relationships audio: Applying the lessons from The Hard Path in how we can construct our relationships with women in alignment within our authentic vision and aligned with our own set of values, along with avoiding the traps of codependency and other unhealthy patterns. Over 1 hour (2 audio files).


Bonus #3 Excerpt from my Freedom with Women dating seminar audio: Never before released audio distinctions from the infamous Freedom with Women course I co-led for 5 years—the course that MTV filmed and featured in their show SEX2K. (1 audio file)


Bonus #4: Inner Dimensional Body audio: Applying the distinctions from the book on how to change your relationship to your body, diet, exercise notions, health, self image, and more (1 audio file)


Bonus #5: Access to my Inner Dimensional Man Podcast

My Podcast: has featured experts like former Rollins band guitarist Chris Haskett, along with self defense expert Tony Blaur, punk rock musician Jack Grisham from TSOL, and Peter Gilmore from the Church of Satan (7 episodes, more added frequently)

Claim your copy of The Hard Path: Becoming an Inner Dimensional Man for only $9.95